Can anyone really move on after being cheated on? Is it even possible to forgive someone who has trashed your love and devotion so severely? Made you feel less-than..?
Is it even reasonable to expect forgiveness after perpetrating an act, which can only be described as an emotional crime?
Whether or not people choose to admit it, everyone have been affected, directly or indirectly by infidelity. In some or other way your relationship has been tested and only you will know whether you have passed or failed.
There are multiple arguments which seek to prove that marriage or being with one person forever is absurd. Infidelity is often used to corroborate the argument. Even the practice of polygamous marriage is purported to contain a side-note of “it curtails infidelity.” Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn’t… The fact remains most people marry the one person they want to be with forever. Not the three people they kinda like...
The unfortunate reality though is after the fairy-tale of your spouse starts wearing thin, or the novelty of your life-partner has become the norm, selfishness creeps in. Before, it was “all about us,” now “it’s never about me!” Then someone comes along and makes it all about YOU…
Or if you are on the other side of this coin, the receiving end of the Me-Syndrome, you are seeing the horror unfold before your eyes. You’re seeing how the different version of your spouse starts to unfold. You see the extra effort being put into a relationship outside of your home. The extra time that goes into their appearance. You feel the silence amidst the words. The lies, late-nights, then lies again. You feel the emotional withdrawal and you are feeling more alone everyday. Everything previously reserved for you now showered on someone else, and it hurts like hell! There’s just no sense or justice in it all. One besotted. The other betrayed.
Could you ever move on after something like this? Would you even want to? You do love each other and perhaps this was temporary weakness…but it could happen again. Could the trust ever be restored? Or will you always be looking for signs of a lie? And what about the kids?
Truth is, no one knows. The answers to all these rests with you. You could be happier than you have ever been the second time around. Or you could choose to move on separately, and live a very happy life. Only you get to live with your choice and only you are accountable for you.
But no matter how you look at it, it’s a matter of forgiveness… Whether you choose to move on or whether you choose to stay. You cant do either without forgiveness. Make no mistake, it will be hard. But forgiveness has never been an attribute of the weak...
Know your worth. Stay true to you. And remember, “Every day is a second chance…”